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LOUISIANA:
A HISTORY
by Bennett Wall
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Louisiana For Sale (again)

Every once in a while, we receive a posting in our Guestbook which really cracks us up. This one evokes memories of the Louisiana Purchase, a subject which most American pupils are taught in history class — but with a new twist. We also find it inspirational when someone manages to muster a sense of humor amidst the destruction and despair of a natural disaster. May others gather strength from this survivor's approach to life!

We invite anyone with an amusing (francophile) perspective on living to share it with our visitors at Discover France, by writing us! Your personal experiences, tall tales, travelogues, or humorous rants could be published on these pages! Meanwhile, we hope you enjoy reading this letter from Joan Fox of New Orleans:

Dear France, please buy us!

Greetings from Louisiana! We are shopping for new owners, and we immediately thought of you! Our present rulers haven't been taking very good care of us, and we are looking for a better deal. They are spending all our money in a place called Iraq (somewhere in the Middle East). We thought that perhaps you might want to revisit an old land deal you made long ago.

If you've been reading the papers lately, you may have noticed that we have had a few problems with "water". No, we're not offering you a deal on a damaged water park. (Although that's what it looks like from the air.) Seriously, we need help, and fast!

       
  New Orleans historic land marker
Historic land marker at Jackson Square in the French Quarter.
 

Some things you might like here:

  1. We named the state after your King Louis.
  2. We named the city after your city, Orléans.
  3. We have lots of French names on the streets.
  4. We still have Napoleonic law. (Maybe you can explain it to us!)
  5. A lot of our citizens speak French. (The accent will grow on you.)
  6. We like French food and wine.

What we can offer you:

  1. A toehold (rather wet!) on the continent;
  2. An incredible port;
  3. Lots of oil and gas;
  4. Lots of restaurants;
  5. Jazz;
  6. Mardi Gras (you won't believe what we do with this!);
  7. Some of the most beautiful houses in the world (very, very wet).

What we need from you is simple:

  1. Wetland redevelopment;
  2. New levees;
  3. Lots of new houses (but we want them to look old like the ones we lost);
  4. We need schools and hospitals rebuilt;
  5. If you insist, we wouldn't mind some more outdoor cafés like you folks are famous for.

Please think this over carefully. Our current owners are so busy in other countries, they might not even notice if you come down here and take a look around. We'll put you up in grand style in a place we call "The French Quarter" (yeah, really!) and you can have lunch at a place we built for your very own Napoleon, which we call (you guessed it!) "Napoleon's". You'll be right at home.

Oh, just remember, we would like the levees and the wetlands taken care of ASAP, sometime just after lunch if not sooner.

Yours sincerely,
A homeowner in New Orleans
Joan Fox


Images: Historic land marker for New Orleans, from Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia.

 
 

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